Monster's grin

i have never stop crying since the day they made the mistake.
on monday itself i cried for 2 hours.
today it only took me 30 mins plus scratches on myself.
i had a very hard time.

in school you can see the crazy smile of mine but you dont know what kind of face i give behind close doors.
everytime school ended i wish i dont have to go back home.

i dont mind to share love but will it hurts if someone who gave birth to you [not me],
says this, "you are not my daughter, i found you at the rubbish dump near my old house".
well my mum said that to me.
and it hurts so much.
but this was ages ago but i cant seem to forget because it had scarred my heart.
i am holding back my tears now.
i dont want to wet my eyes because i dont want anyone notice it in school.

i am having mixed feelings.
i dunno whether i am sad/ angry/ or going nuts?

AM I HOPELESS??
AM I JINX??
AM I THE WORST PERSON YOU HAVE EVER MET??

to answer the question the answer is YES.
i really am huh.

i am feeling kind of tired.
my eyes are puffy.
and i am hearing things now that wasnt meet for anyone to hear.
i better go before anything else happens to me.