Monster's grin

When I'm listening to "REMEMBERING SUNDAY", everyone knows I'm feeling down. Well, not exactly everyone. It's the only song that could calm me down. I don't know why this song. I really don't. I'm totally scared. Trembling like a twig. My mind is wondering far, far, far away. What if I disappoint Mummy?): I really do feel dumb now. My confidence is running low. I feel like breaking down now. I had high hopes on myself. Very high. But everyone had to pull me down. Geez. How do I prove everyone's wrong now?

As you all would probably know. I don't want to enter ITE. Not because I look down on those people but I want to prove MUMMY and her husband that I'm going to be the first to enter poly. I don't want to be like my cousins. All ending up in ITE. I want to be the first to enter POLY so bad. I want to like be Iqah. She managed to get herself in MI probably because her parents are pushy. Oh gosh. I'm feeling so dumb. Like really dumb. Seems like I'll be ending up in ITE as well. No point telling me to cheer up where others brought me down.

I'm feeling so down now. No point talking about it. Let's just see how it goes. If faith wants me to end up in ITE then so be it. I'm prepared. I think.

Funny how it rained all day
I didn't think much of it then
But it's
starting to all make sense
Oh, I can see now that all of these clouds
Are
following me in my desperate endeavor

Die, bitch. DIE!