Monster's grin

Seriously, I'm not that close to my family. Mum, we do chat but we never shares secrets. Well, most probably because I told her about Khairi and also told her not to tell anyone and she went around spreading it to my aunties and uncles. From then, I never tell her anything. Dad, gosh. Can I skip this? I never, I repeat that, NEVER got along with dad before since Primary six, actually. Every time when we're in each other path, we always broke out in to an argument. And my ex-tuition teacher still had the cheek to say that I'm "daddy's girl" and I tried hard to tell him that I'm not. And now, it's almost 4 months that we never talked. We made Mum our owl. Okay, he did tried to start a conversation but that freaking conversation was always about ME not helping mum. WHAT THE FUCK! Excuse me, I've been doing the laundry, cleaning the house and taking care of monkeys. WHAT MORE DOES MUM WANTS? BE HER PERSONAL MAID? I'm okay with my siblings. EXCEPT, I need them to shut the fuck up. They are always making scenes at the wrong time. When I'm in my hyper mood, they'll be there sitting on the couch, quietly. When I'm in my moodiest mood, there they are, making a ruckus.

Overall, I'm trying to say that my family SUCK big time. We may look like a "HAPPY" family but we aren't. So, I won't be surprise if my family end up separating. I'm always the quiet one at home and even Mum agreed with that. We had this conversation.

Cacat: I had Nasi Lemak just now in school.
Me: 0_0 What you ate in school, you have to tell everyone meh?
Cacat: Yea. Bored what. So, I'm just inform you only.
Mum: Rather than nothing. She's not like you. Got things all keep quiet. Don't want to talk. You think you big already can keep things?
Me: HAIYA! Can don't start or not? Don't ruin my mood! [Stopped eating and went off]

I'm that kind of person. If someone pissed me off, I will definitely give them the silent treatment. That day, I didn't talk to Mum at all. That's when she kept waking me up in the morning. 8 IN THE MORNING! COME ON! She's got to be kidding me.

Oh! Well, I speak English most of the time at home and suddenly Mum tested OUR Malay.

Mum: What's "Excuse" in Malay? Who can answer don't have to do house chores.
Me: Move aside lor.
Mum: MALAY!
Me: How would I know what's that.
Cacat: Alasan.
Me: WOI! That one is "Excuses".
Pork: "Lalu"! Yes! I no need do!
Me: WOI! Wrong I know already! "TEPI LAH".
Mum: Haiz. I get A1 then all.....
US: DA! Change subject please!

Mum always bring us down cause we are WORST at our Malays. I'm the WORST OF THEM ALL! Thanks.

Because these words were never easier for me to say
Or her to second
guess
But I guess
That I can live without you but
Without you I'll be
miserable
And I can live without you but
Without you I'll be
miserable
And I can live without you but
Oh, without you I'll be miserable
at best